Today, I have an entry from a new friend. Her name is May Durkovic and she had a neat experience last Friday. I let you enjoy it and here is a song that would go well with it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpvyqwms9bA
I recognized grace for the first time. Not because I was searching for it, I wasn’t even thinking about it. Not because I did anything to deserve it, I didn’t. No. Today I recognized grace only because of God’s overwhelming love and mercy.
I believe each of us have a deeply-rooted, underlying need or desire in life. For me, that need is happiness. To some people that might sound too simple, too ordinary, too easy. To anyone who has experienced depression, happiness feels like a glimmer of Heaven. While I have certainly experienced moments, days and even weeks of happiness, Heaven more often than not feels miles and miles away. But today, through God’s grace, a slice of Heaven touched my life.
I was driving home from work in the snow, listening to the radio broadcasters warn drivers to stay off the roads in anticipation of the two-foot blizzard. Despite the snow and below 70 degree temperature (because anything below 70 degrees is cold), a ray of light warmed my heart. That’s when it hit me; I was happy. For my amazingly wonderful husband, my seemingly made-just-for-me job, and the countless blessings in my life. I was beyond happy, I was elated. And along with this happiness came an irresistible desire to pray and give thanks to the One who provided it all to me.
Now, I don’t want to paint the picture of me as a prayer-warrior. Lord knows there are too many moments I leave God out of the equation and then raise my fist toward Him when things don’t go my way. But in this moment there was nothing more I wanted to do than pray.
It was during this prayer that my head finally caught up with my heart and I understood. So this is what grace feels like. All those years of hearing about grace, reading about it in the Bible and grasping for it when it was never mine to hold led me to this point. Never in my life had I felt 100% sufficient; blameless and flawless in God’s eyes. Yet in His grace I was adequate and perfect, worthy to be called His daughter. Not because of my efforts but because of His. It finally made sense.
Only a few days ago, sitting in the blue seats of Fairfax Community Church, my pastor said, “Pride is not seeing that everything you have and everything you are is the result of grace… If you see salvation as the sum total of your moral accomplishments the cross will never make sense to you. Jesus coming and dying for your sins will never make sense to you. Having to humble yourself before the Lord and in faith accepting what Christ has done for you will never make sense to you… But when you understand that everything in life, including salvation, is the result of grace then you’re able to humble yourself and accept it.”
After hearing my pastor’s insight I desperately wanted to understand grace and genuinely prayed to be touched by it. Five days later my prayer was answered through the Holy Spirit when God’s grace transformed me and changed my life forever.
I never thought grace could be so amazing. It was well worth the wait.